..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
