You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
