I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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