I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
