so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
