do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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