why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
