I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
