New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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