he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Couch. On fire.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
