im six kinds of drunk right now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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