I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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