Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
