Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
