I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you didnt know i had herpes?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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