The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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