Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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