he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
