you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
