What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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