i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
