he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
