You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
