Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
