we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize