Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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