Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
