I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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