i just had sex bonerless
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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