Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
