if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
