I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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