YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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