so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
