just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
