whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
its liver damage thursday
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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