I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
