I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize