She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found your dick twin last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
