This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
