Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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