Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
