i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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