I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
