Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
