I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
