Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dicks are not precious.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
