it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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