My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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