I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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