This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
