I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
