Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
