actually, I'm a sock model
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize