Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
