I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
