this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
