Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
