please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
